The Night the Lights Went Out

As a mom, I sometimes find myself in amazement at all the energy young boys have. They are constantly on the go, running and jumping around. When music comes on, they love to move their bodies around in the funniest of ways. Any chance to play outside or ride their bike is usually thrilling and the Wii offers contant opportunities to wiggle, steer, kick and scream. It's actually exhausting to corale them. As they get older, it gets harder and harder for me to keep them near me. Even on Halloween, as they walked around dressed as Star Wars troopers, they didn't want to walk with me anymore, only their friends, running from house to house. So when I look at them sleeping peacefully, I gaze at their serene faces and breathe it all in, knowing when they wake up we are off to the races. That's why these days any chance they give me their willing positive attention (I am not referring to when they get hurt or need food), I cherish it.

I live for these moments:
-Evan said, "Sit here, mommy," when I went to use the computer in the kitchen and not at the table next to him.
-We had a snack outside on the back patio. They definitely requested my presence and asked me to make them fresh squeezed lemonade that we all could share and do "cheers."
-I came home from getting my hair done and Evan shouted "Mommy, you look beautiful. I love your hair that way!"

-Probably the most special moment recently was when the power went out one unusually chilly night. We came home from being out and they were super worried about entering the house with no power or lights. Both John and I were there to reassure them. We lit candles and had battery powered flashlights. I decided to sit in the living room by the fireplace and John got it cranking for us as a source of light. They thought it was funny how we were all using their DS's as a light source as well. Its portability came in handy when trying to get the fireplace working. But the best part of the night was when the fire was lit and the boys snuggled up next to me on the loveseat-sized couch and told me theyjust wanted to be near me. We all played the DS together and enjoyed our talks and the quiet around us.

Some cute words of the month from Evan: vamillia, (instead of vanilla)and skatue, (instead of statue). Jake's cute quote..."Talk to the booty cause the hands off duty!"

Ladies Man and the Comedian

Boys can break your heart in sooooo many ways, I am coming to find out. As moms we struggle to keep our kids protected and feel loved, giving them all their basic necessities and then some. Then we send them out into the world with their little or in my case, "big", personalities and hope for the best. Some kids have a tough exterior but are puppy dogs at home with mom, while others wear their hearts on their sleeve always. I have both types of personalities to deal with, so caring for them sometimes takes love, strategy and patience. Somehow I always wind up feeling their pain much worse I think.. must be a mother thing. When one has a bad day at school or is struggling, I feel frustrated and sad. I mostly feel helpless. So I read more and try more. They'll never realize it. One thing I can count on is comic relief and that is what I have been getting from both lately. Jake is perfecting his joke-telling skills. He commands a lot of attention with this. He has some good ones like "What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?...a sand witch (sandwich). He is keeping them in his memory bank and I just wish he would do the same with schoolwork. Maybe I need to tell his teachers to tell him jokes.

Evan takes hip-hop class, is now an everyday preschooler and has become quite the ladies man. Even the school's director shouts out "rock star" when he walks in. I came to find out that he still cares for the little girl from his class last year who is now in the room next to him, but has two other girls in his class who can't live without seeing him. Even the teacher has commented on this and the girls' mothers have made Evan the talk of the pre-k 4. They love his spiky hair and his big blue eyes. The teacher informed me that I am going to have lots of phone calls when he gets older and to get ready for broken hearts. The one little girl in his class won't leave him alone, when I arrive with him in the morning and the two sometimes get together and giggle when he walks in the room. Evan does not care for this behavior and seems very perterbed by it, as he clings to me. The teacher said even her granddaughter who attends the pre-k program in another class knows about him and likes him?! Yikes. Why can't they just stay babies?

Have to share this. A favorite funny author of mine writes in Parenting, "Things We Know We Shouldn't Do, But Do Anyway" - Say your out of mac'n' cheese to avoid having the fifth, "but you need your protein" fight that week; Set the clocks ahead an hour, so it's "bedtime" just because you need some silence; Give in and let the kids paint the dog's fingernails because you're too tired to come up with a reason not to; Funnel the kids birthday checks from the grandparents into their college fund without telling them- the kids need an education more than they need the latest Khan Zhu or Littlest Pet Shop toy; Lie to your 10 year-old about what Lady Gaga means when she sings that she wants to "take a ride on your disco stick"; Terrify expectant moms with life-as-you-know-it-is-over stories cause it's true and they'll find out soon enough; Tell each sibling that she is the special one and mean it.

Favorite quote by fellow mom and friend Lisa H- "You're a good mom 95% of the time and the other 5% you're human

Well it's here and I can't believe it. The first day of school has arrived. By now we have done everything we set out to do this summer. In the last few weeks they even got to try out golfing. Jake made some new friends in the community we live in. I even had a group of them in my pool. We learned some new Spanish words, Evan learned letter recognition and Jake reviewed math while keeping up with his reading. He got through one and a half Wimpy Kid books and I accomplished the unimagineable... I finished reading a book this summer! As I predicted though, the kids started to get a little cabin fever and I was starting to feel ready to get them back to the routine...however that day before always gets me. It's a feeling I get when the realization sets in that they are another grade higher and they are getting more independent. Maybe it's because I am home with them and kept them home for most of the summer. I get really attached to them. No matter how much I yell or get frustrated with them ( it's not their fault, it's my own temperment and ego I am dealing with)I'm never ready to let them go. Jake had an endless list of supplies and I'm used to his back-to-school routine by now. He was a good boy this morning and didn't complain one bit. But this year, my baby, Evan, has to go everyday and he is as happy as can be to learn. He has a big-boy classroom, is going to get to ride on a bus to the special trips to the library and wear a cap and gown at the end of this school year to graduate to kindergarten.

Although, I am happy for him, I am crushed inside. This is the one, two punch. Pre-K and then kindergarten. For a mom who primarily stays home, works part-time or works from home this is the killer year for the mom. This is the year where the child must attend everyday, not twice or three times a week... everyday. Something about that spits the reality of what's to come right in our faces. My baby is on his way to boyhood and things change. It's inevitable. Once they go to elementary school, they socialize differently they learn and grow at what seems to be an accelerated rate. They relate to their siblings and parents a little differently, not saying it's good or bad, just different. For example, when I leave Evan who has me hold him the whole way down the corridor to the classroom, he says, "just one more kiss mommy, oh yeah, and a hug...(turns around, comes back) wait, one more kiss and hug mommy, again." Jake who is 8, stopped doing that after kindergarten, and these days once they enter that building called elementary school, you, the mom or dad, are not even allowed to walk them to class. Usually, Jake likes to give me the kisses behind closed doors, where his peers can't see. I know it's inevitable with Evan now too. Those kisses and hugs are my heart's reward, my bonus and forever paycheck. As they get older it becomes less and less and that is sad. I felt it with Jake and soon Evan will turn that corner too. It is heartbreaking reality for me. I know they love me, but it's different. They are not babies anymore.

Some joke that motherhood is a job or a bunch of jobs rolled into one. And no matter what else is going on in my world, I always make this "job" number one and I try to execute from the heart, spirit and mind. I love my boys and this is a day that's all heart for me.

G-Force is in the House!

So Jake and Evan are doing most of what we set out to do this summer, except the golf. I am not going to obsess over it, especially since they haven't really asked about it. However, the one thing Jake did ask for at the end of the school year he finally received.
Jake has been asking for a dog for a while now. I also really want a dog but since we lost our dog, Beezer, John and I have just not been ready for that step. We still do also have a cat who is 13. Plus, I would only want to add a dog to the family when the kids are ready to help care for it since my plate is already full. It's a big responsibility. So I met Jake somewhat halfway and told him that if he finished out the year with all A's and B's on his report card, I would get him a hamster or a guinea pig, just like the ones in the movie G-Force. How bad could that be?
The way I always pictured it was that you get a fairly small cage that sits on a dresser and your child can feed it and watch it run around and play in the cage. I would probably never have to see it...I was way off base.

So as it turned out, Jake came home with almost straight A's and one B. I reiterated my promise but never heard anything about it- up until three weeks ago. Jake reminded me about it, so I told him "a promise is a promise." I researched it and John checked too. Then he called me to meet him at the pet store with the kids, almost immediately after I read internet research that suggested that guinea pigs get along well in pairs. So of course, we met John at the pet store and I insisted on getting two. Evan decided one will be his. How great! They were inexpensive and John decided to supply these two new darling boys with a three tier Barbie dream house of guinea pig cages (forget the idea of sitting the cage on the dresser). Oh and plenty of food. The boys had trouble naming them, but eventually settled on two names of the guinea pigs from the movie, "Blaster," and "Darwin."
Darwin is cute, brown and white and very feisty. Blaster is little, dark brown and relatively passive. We got them home and we let them be for the first day. By the second day we took them out of the cage and sat them on the floor near us to pet them. Fairly soon, I could see that Darwin was a bit on the nervous side because he pooped even when we were petting him. The bottom of the tray of their cage was filled up with Darwin's pellets almost as soon as we would clean it. They were messy and poop and pee was escaping the cage almost every time we turned around. I was making Jake clean it most of the time but I was too and it was ridiculous. I couldn't believe there would be this much maintenance. I couldn't even imagine how I would eventually move this cage into Jake's carpeted room if this was going to be the scenario. Then I was up late on a Saturday evening, about three or four nights after we got the guys, and I noticed that Darwin was just not acting right. He was jumping up the tiers of the cage, something neither of them had done or even tried. He was pecking at Blaster and hopping back and forth to his food and water. He was like a guinea pig on speed. Oh and pooping like crazy. Something was defintitely not right. We knew Darwin's ears were ragged and we were told one of the bigger pigs had attacked another one in the cages and had to be seperated. We realized Darwin may have been really effected by this. So the next day we discussed this with Jake and Evan. I anguished over making this decision, but we were going to return Darwin. We anticpated Evan might be upset but all he said was, "get better Darwin, we'll miss you," and then went back to playing his DS. We offered him a fish that he named "Darwin." Then we gave Jake a choice: either return Blaster too and get another fish, a pet we are used to and know the care is easy, but cannot pet, only look at; or keep the guinea pig with all the upkeep, but reap the reward of cuddling and petting him. It was a day of negotiations, but Jake made a choice to keep Blaster and that has made him and everyone happy, so far.

Mommy Camp Kicked Mommy's Butt

What a week it's been. A fantastic week with my boys. Every waking minute has been very rewarding, but obviously very exhausting for me since I now have a cold. I am pleased with the mixture of fun and education we experienced, all within a budget. I am also very proud that the money we did spend was spent right here in our own backyard... so we stimulated the south Florida economy a little.
Here is the breakdown of where we went:
Sunday- Toy Story 3 was a good time had by all. We brought out own snacks and sat in air-conditioned comfort to a wonderful family movie. The kids were mesmerized and my mom and I were very entertained. The end brough may tears to mine and mom's eyes. The kids asked me why I was crying and I told them that I will be crushed when they leave for college as does the boy in the movie. That's when they gave me some words of comfort. The little one said not to worry because maybe I will get him a cell phone by then and he will call me everyday. "I'll call you when I'm on the playground and doing fun stuff like that," he said. Then we went home and I copied the aliens from the movie into cupcakes and we devoured them.

Momday- we took the train to the Fishing Hall of Fame in Dania to meet Aunt Elsie. We went there last summer but this time the train added extra excitement. Jake was a little apprehensive at first but once we were on, he said, "Mommy, this is so much more relaxing than driving." I couldn't agree more. This was their first time on a train and I think it may have been the highlight of the week. At 5 bucks.. it's a bargain. The Fishing Hall of Fame is a great day because not only is there a museum and a nature preserve with lots of animals to greet you, but next door is a restaurant and then Bass Pro Shop. There are giant fish tanks in all three and lots to see and do. This is a great place especially for boys. When John arrived we took off to Jaxson's ice cream parlor... a glimpse into a simpler time for the adults but a refreshing treat for all.

Tuesday- We were bound for Peanut Island. I had never been there before and decided it might be fun. After researching which would be the best way to get there, we headed to Riviera Beach to catch the water taxi. The water taxi rid eis only 5 for kids and 10 for adults round-trip. This was a lot of fun but my mom was a little pensive about it. She was a trooper. When we got to the island we were met with a beautiful breeze and sunshine. The kids did some snorkeling and we ate our packed lunches. We ventured to walk to the museum, but it was closed and then we proceeded to walk the rest of the island - 1.25 miles. On the other side, the breeze was not blowing so we could not wait to get back to our starting point. There we saw a family snorkeling and their son was holding a giant seastar. It was amazing. We also saw a manatee swim by. We caught the water taxi back and stopped at the Tiki Bar for a snack. That's where the boys picked up handmade straw hats.

Wednesday- We got a little later start since we made dinner plans with some friends at the Rainforest Cafe ( on Wed. the kids eat for 2 bucks!) We spent the morning doing some "summer cleaning." We empited out and organized their closets. What an accomplishment. Then we ate lunch and headed out to Flamingo Gardens in Davie. This is a great way to spend an afternoon because there are lots of animal exhibits and lots of shade, especially if you take the tram tour. The tour guide told us about a lot of trees and plants and uses for them. There is an old house from the 1930's that sits on the grounds that has a lot of charm and is a museum. The kids got a kick out of how small the beds were. Then we were off to meet our friends at the RC. They all played in the gym area outside the cafe afterward. It is about a 40 minute car ride home...Evan was asleep within 5 minutes of the ride.

Thursday- We got out early to a local farm as I wanted to gather some fresh fruits and veggies for a 4th of July get together I was planning. We got an added treat of taking a tractor ride out to a sunflower patch. It was an awesome sight to stand in the middle of the field with such beauty surrounding us. Then we waited until the afternoon to head out to the Toy Exhibit at the Palm Beach Science Museum, this is so we could avoid the camps and morning crowds. I highly recommend waiting until the afternoon to do some of the more popular attractions since most camps clear out by then. The cost can sometimes be less also. If you go see Toy Story 3, save your tix cause that gets you a discount at the Palm Beach Science Museum.

Friday- I had promised Jake we would check out the shark feedings at Gumbo Limbo. This is an old standby. The shark feedings are always happening, every Friday at 2:30. Cost is free, they accept donations or a trip into the gift shop. They now have an added attraction of loggerhead turtle tanks. They rehab them and then set them out into their habitat. We took the scenic beach route home and I even took them for a ride over a "secret bridge." The boys were exhausted but full of curiosity and questions all week and I loved trying to answer all of them. This was my week vacation from work and although it was not "relaxing," it was fun and a great bonding experience. I hope the boys will look back fondly that I do this with them every year.

School is Out, Mommy Camp is in...

Yes, it's that wonderful time of year when we can all breathe a sigh of relief for a little while. The kids are not worrying about tests or projects or what I am gonna pack them for lunch. They can stay up a little later and I am not rushing them to read their books and get to bed. They are not so scheduled and I think that is what I love the most. Oh heck, who am I kidding... I get to sleep in an extra hour every morning! That's what I love the most!

Jake came off of a busy month of May. He made his Communion after two years of a hard commitment. He also finished big at school with mostly As and one B. He is testing tomorrow for his green belt in Tae Kwon Do. Evan is also testing for yellow and he is still in school three days a week for most of this month.... and not very happy with me about that. "I wanna stay home with Jakey," he tells me. They will both do two weeks of summer camp at Evan's school and that should be a fun time. Either way home or camp, Jake was definitely ready for a break from school. I do know that when it is time to get them back to that place, I will be ready to get them back into school again, mainly because they start getting cabin fever by August and I'm tired of being fun and interesting by then. However, now is when I am fresh with overzealous enthusism and positive intentions. I get all my magazine clippings of great ideas together and I get my wipe board out where I can post their expected chores and responsibilities and keep track with stars and checks. Stars mean pocket change for when we go on little excursions, ie. during the week of Mommy Camp, and checks mean extra DS time. Oh that little item was a Communion present, so thanks to all of you who contributed. That darling gadget has caused many arguments. That is because there is always one who is breaking the rules around the DS usage and then punishment or banishment has to occur. We are one month into this and I am still working out the kinks. Besides getting another one (not happening anytime soon) for my four year-old (going on 30) and using an egg timer to divide playtime, if anyone has any good solutions to this issue please feel free to comment.

Summer is also when we learn new things. I try to teach them Spanish and introduce them to different games, music, and intruments every summer. Today I took them for a one-mile walk. This was Evan's first time around the whole circle where I live and he ran half of it! I, of course, am still relegated to only walking since I tore the ligaments in my right foot at my birthday surprise...but that is another story. They also get to swim, almost everyday. This year they are also going to learn golf. Mommy Camp will be taking place the last week of this month and I have some new places to take them to... should be interesting.

What I love about being a mom...

Last week Evan, my youngest, came home and asked me if he could wear eyeliner and shave his head like his and his daddy's favorite band, Shinedown. I was a bit taken aback by this, as any mom could imagine. So I answered with mom speak, "we'll see," which means "heck no" in my reality. He loves to dance for anybody who will watch and wants to be a rock star. I should be glad he is so eager and determined, even if he is only 4.

On Saturday, Jake made his first Communion after two years of hard work and dedication. He attended mass every weekend and CCD classes once per week. He learned prayers and good principles. I was so proud of him. He is really growing up and it makes me sad but happy for him all at once.

Tonight I saw that a friend of mine posed a Mother's Day question to all her mom friends on Facebook.. "What do you love about being a mom?" Then I thought about these moments and thought... I love this... all these moments, not only the proud ones but the crazy and silly ones too.

Some things I love are these: I love the way they smell; I love to watch them sleep; I love when they sing and dance; I love when they try to make me laugh even though I am mad and trying to be serious; I love the way they say words like gawgeoous, O-pah-rah, Cheesus, chickmonks...; I love the way Jake shows such concern for me, as he did last week when my foot was put into a cast for torn ligaments; I love the way Evan still wants me to hold him and lay on my belly at night; I love when they stick their feet in my face to smell or kiss them( their feet are still cute and not smelly boy feet yet); I love to watch them swim and play with their friends;I love their hugs and kisses. I could seriously go on and on. I just love them!

Happy Mother's Day!

Lemonade and Dennis the Menace

My boys are adorable and sweet and make me laugh at least 20 times a day. Sometimes even when I am so mad at them I have to try to keep a straight face because they are so damn cute and I just want to smile or laugh but I know that would ruin my point. I am, after all, their mother, the adult in the group...

The younger one has an extraordinary way of causing innocent mischief. This seems more like an oxymoron, but what can I do? For example, today Evan wanted to make lemonade with me. I showed the boys how to make their own homemade lemonade over the weekend and now they love it. They even go into the garden and add a sprig of mint to it. SO today I obliged and Evan and I sat outside and did "cheers" with our cups. Then he said, "hey mom it's just you and me right?" He has a cute way of saying that expression when we have our one or two days together, when he is not in school. He really gets a kick out of our alone time. Jake was so used to having me all to himself his first 3 1/2 years that I don't think he savored it as much.

Then Evan decides that we should have a picnic-style lunch and eat outside on the patio. Again, I oblige and get the food together. His lunch consists of turkey and chips and salsa. I go inside to get something when all of a sudden a little wind comes through and knocks the paper plate toward the sliding glass door ( and big brother Jake just cleaned them all so expertly for me.)Evan says "Oh my gosh!" I look and see that there is now turkey and salsa on the slider and the floor. He comes in, after I go out to him to assure him he is not in trouble and it is not his fault. He wants to help me. So he finds window cleaner and presents it to me as I am trying to wipe everything up outside. He has trouble with the sprayer so I fixed it for him. I'm on floor duty and he is doing pretty good with the sliding glass door. I see he needs more paper towel so I run into get him more. That's when even more calamity ensues and is pretty typical of him. Evan opened up the window cleaner and it spilled all over the floor. SO now he is really alarmed and I feel my temperature rising as I know it is soon time to leave to pick up Jake from school. I have to work fast so I get some towels and a mop and the hose. I try to hose down the patio and wipe it up. Meanwhile Evan is trying out his newest stunt , jumping from the coffee table to the couch, landing upside down. Of course now I am screaming. Evan laughs and gives me an innocent smile and tells me he loves me. I regain my cool, and finish the task. I walk into the kitchen and Evan is helping himself to more lemonade. Luckilly he doesn't spill it.

Proud Moment

So yesterday I was at church with both kids. Jake is going to be making his first communion so these are his last weeks of obligatory church attendance. There was one lady sitting on the end to my right, then two seats, then Jake, Evan and myself. I had two seats between me and the person on my left. After mass started, a lady of middle-eastern descent came into our row and sat to my left, leaving one seat between us. The rest of her family, including a little girl around Evan's age, was in the row behind us. I noticed that Jake was looking at the lady and then I saw his fingers go up like he was counting. I looked behind me and immediately knew what he was thinking and I was in total agreement. Then he came out and said it and actually asked me to do it. He said, "Mom, that lady is separated from her family. If I move down two and Evan moves down two and you move down that will be three extra seats and her family can sit with her. Tell her mom, tell her."

I immediately told the lady that we would make room and to ask her family to join her. They were go grateful. As they filed in the row, I made sure to tell them it was all Jake's idea.

I was beaming at that moment. I was just so proud of Jake. He also shared one of his two toys with his brother who had nothing to fiddle with. For the longest time I had wondered if my boys, who have so much, will be the kind of empathetic considerate people I wish for them to be. It can be taught but at some point it has to come from within. Sometimes I feel that in this day and age, many kids just don't get that message - to be kind to your fellow man and to do unto others as you would have done to you. For me that's not church talk, that's just morality. At that moment, Jake showed me that he has empathy and consideration and I was relieved and happy for him.

A few minutes later, Evan, who is four, slid past me to sit next to the little girl and rub her arm when he thought nobody was looking. He caught me looking and gave me a slick smile...Now that child worries me.

Seeking Assistance- I think?

Okay how many times have you felt this way? As the CEO of your abode, you try to do so many jobs and wear so many hats? Sometimes, maybe more than others, you want to just scream from the rooftops "I need help!" Well, I feel this way - a lot. My hubby does his share of pitching in sometimes but mostly, he is the outside guy. If there is a job to do outside or fix something in the house- he is the man to do it. He has a no nonsense approach to all of that and thankfully he is handy. So I do have a quite capable and very handsome handyman. However I always have something that I need to do that doesn't ever seem as rewarding as fixing something that is broken. All the mundane chores are mine: laundry, cleaning, cooking etc. Don't get me wrong I love to cook and sometimes take a lot of pride when I have cleaned my home... but I just need a break sometimes from the constant spin of the wheel. Oh and let's not forget the "project" that I always feel I need to tend to, or piles of paper, artwork and cluttered closets that are always staring me down. If I just had a week to myself, I'm convinced I could get it all done. The probelm is that there are not enough hours in the day and why do I have to do this thing caled sleep? Am I just overzealous? Who knows but it is a constant source of frustration for me. I am convinced if I could get all the things I want to get done I could save the world. Okay maybe not. And you would probably wonder why I don't get a cleaning lady to help alleviate some of my issues? Well here goes my mental condition - I feel guilty hiring someone to do something in my house that I know I can do myself... and better. Uggghhh, so you see my frustration. From painting a pirate wall mural to scrapbooking, to organizing, to cleaning my spacious home, I can do it myself and I am saving money. But I do dream about one day hiring a houseboy? Well that will eventually be my boys (can't wait). They already are a pretty decent source of help. They dust their furniture, and seem not to mind light vacuuming. They also bring their plates to the sink from the table and are in the habit of emptying their laundry baskets next to the washer and dryer on laundry days. The little one likes to clean and jumps at the chance to help. Sometimes that means he'll spray a bottle of something that was not meant for windows on the windows, but overall the enthusiasm is refreshing. I am counting on them being like their daddy, only I am grooming them for the "inside jobs."

Sharing

I read Stephanie Dolgoff’s article in this month’s issue of Parenting magazine on my way back from Orlando with my family and I couldn't stop laughing and wanting to shout out, "so true, so true... sad, but true!" It was so great, I feel I have to share. I know other moms will sympathize with some of these feelings and if not then you are just trying to be Polly Perfect and lying to yourself. Stephanie writes… “Sure you could be more organized, more cheerful, more on top of every little detail. But you’re not a Mombot and no one , except, perhaps you, expects you to be!” She lists 31 things that we moms should give ourselves leeway to do and not feel guilty about. For example, #1- “Taking a vacation with only your husband. It’s such a tragedy for the kids to spend time with their superindulgent grandparents!”
Well hell, I'm still working on #1...getting away riddles me with guilt and I think this article was just the kick in the pants I needed. #24 was so on the money – “Reading this article instead of soliciting donations for the PTA auction, cultivating your organic vegetable garden or cleaning out that kitchen drawer with the random rubber bands, screwdrivers and old keyes in it. Even machines need to unplug and reboot every so often.” I just love her. But I had some input of my own after reading this and added my take to her #17... making the grandparents take the kids on Saturday nights so hubby and I can have a conversation and act like adults. Also to her #30 I added -being increasingly PO'd about the loose skin from delivering two 9lb boys! Here's my original top 10 things I am trying not to feel guilty about in my non-perfect world (no matter how much I try to be) that I would love to share that you all might find funny, but true:

- Secretly wishing I had a voodoo doll of my hubby when he snuggles into bed at 11 like clockwork, meanwhile I am still cleaning the kitchen, making lunches, laundry or working on the computer.
- An addendum to the prior one - giving son lunch money cause I didn't get to make the lunch!
-Not letting the kids watch wrestling, do sleepovers, drink soda, just cause "I said so."
-For letting my son button his dress shirt for the holiday show at school, then arriving in the audience to see he mismatched the buttons.
-For letting them play Wii, a lot.
- Not having time or forgetting to sew on the tae kwon do stars, patches, etc. on the uniform.

-Not letting them ride in their random friend's mom's cars because I don't know the mom/dad or just plain don't trust em .
-Not having the scrapbooks done... not even close. And the moms who do piss me off!
-Having a three hour hair appt. once every two months
-Starbucks breaks
-Putting the kids to bed extra early to catch up on a show or just take a bath and have a glass of wine.
There, I said it! I love my hubby and my friends who scrapbook so take it with a grain of salt and moms, please have a sense of humor and laugh at yourself once in a while. Stephanie's article if nothing else, made me laugh out loud and that felt good. I hope you get a chuckle from this too. A good laugh and some “me” time is really great for your well-being..

Sleeping with Boys

Right now I am so filled with joy to be sharing this life with my boys.
It was Jake's birthday yesterday and we celebrated by taking him up to the Nickelodeon Hotel in Orlando. The night before we left, my little one, Evan had me get in bed with him for a little bit before he fell asleep, as we do most nights. We usually read a book and then he rests his head on my belly. I swear I think that boy wishes he was back in my belly. At one point, he looked up at me and said in a soft voice, "You are the best mommy I ever saw," then gave me a sweet kiss on the cheek. Talk about melting. I was mush. I was excited for our trip together. Jake absolutely loved it. We did the same thing last year. This year the plan was to see Epcot Friday and spend the day at the hotel Saturday. There is lots to do there and Florida resident discount time is the way to go. However, Friday was rainy so we opted to enjoy the hotel and when there was little or no rain the boys still enjoyed the heated pool and the wacky water slides. Saturday did not go according to my plan but as it turned out, that was fine. I am so planned and managing in my daily life that I sometimes forget to just go with the flow while away from it all. So the boys got an extra day at the hotel they love. They got slimed and tattooed. They played basketball, miniature golf and played in the arcade. Then we took them to Lego city at the Disney Marketplace. Another exciting place for boys. It wasn't till I was there that as I passed the Bibbidi Bobbidi Salon that I felt a little girl "pang." It was short lived when I thought about how my boys opted on their own to jump into bed with me the night before, even though the hotel room was complete with awesome bunk beds and a tv in their room. It was great how they, including their dad, carried all the bags for us ( sorry women's libers but I am on vacation and I can still beat most in a push up contest... I've got nothing to prove to my men). It was also great how Evan complimented me while I was getting ready to go to dinner for Jake's actual birthday saying, "Hello pretty girl." What a charmer. I am gonna have to watch out for that one when he starts dating.
And nothing can compare to the smile on Jake's face when he woke up and realized it was his birthday yesterday and his mommy had a note attached to a balloon wishing him a happy 8 and he hugged me and said, "I love you, mommy."

We enjoyed the afternoon after he came home from school and I had an adventurous morning trying to make the shark shaped cake ( not from a mold mind you) he wanted. For a while, it was a standoff between me and the shark, Not a good situation. But Jake's face lit up when he saw it. There was no evidence of the struggle by the time he got home. His nana and papa bought him two coveted movies, Up and Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, so we watched Up, just me, Evan and Jake snuggled on the couch intent in the plot of the movie. We then headed off to his favorite restaurant, Flanigan's ( I should get kickbacks for all this promotion shouldn't I?) and then back home to attack the shark.

Last thing we did was kind of selfish on my part but something I love to do on their birthdays... cause after all it's kind of my celebration too. I sat with them on the couch and looked back at the pictures from the day they were born. They both got a kick out of it and of course Evan thought the photos were all of him. I told him which ones were Jake and he would insist it was him as a baby. Then I snuggled with them, and that was my favorite part of the day.

Did you ever have one of those days?

Most of the time when you hear someone say, "did you ever have one of those days?" it connotes a sense of defeat or frustration with the way the day went. Well not here. I like to think of myself as a mostly positive person but usually my days with work half the day, commitments and deadlines and my two boys all the other hours of the day leave a lot of room for uh ohs, oopsies and mishaps. So in this instance when I ask, "did you ever have one of those days?" I am referring to a day when the planets aligned, everyone was calm and all things were right in my world.

It was a Monday and the kids woke up on time and happy while John slept. The cat got fed, lunches were made and Jake had time for, vitamins, drink and an egg. There was no wasting time getting ready and no whining. After dropping both kids to school I got to work on time without feeling rushed. I had time to run a quick errand between jobs, then it was home for lunch. After checking emails, I left in a flash to get the boys. Jake had a great day, made a request for me to stop at D&D for a snack and when I told him "no" there was no retort. We picked up Evan and he too was in a great mood. And most of the time the boys are in great moods, it's just the afternoon rush of homework and activities can often takeover and make them and me a little nutso. But on this particular day I found a perfect balance keeping Evan busy at the playroom table with coloring and then a floor puzzle while I helped Jake with homework. They even came into the house and washed up without me having to tell them. I had time to make them a healthy juice and celery and ranch snack (usually it is a battle since Evan is a chip monster) and they both accepted without objection. Whew. This all may not seem like a big hurdle to some but most moms, of boys especially, know how difficult getting one to focus on homework while the other is entertained can be. Everything got done, they had time to play and then I started dinner with only a half an hour to spare before Tae Kwon Do. That can also be problematic some days as the little one needs help getting his outfit on and belt tied and they both tend to procrastinate getting ready until the last minute no matter how many pleas I make. However on this day I had their outfits laid out on their beds and they were on it like champs. I had everything ready to go and we were out the door. John and I made the trade off, him taking Evan home when his session was done and I waited for Jake who was done an hour later. Jake got out on time and was a perfect gentleman, even holding the door for me.

Dinner was a hit, according to John, and the bedtime bath routine went off with no problems, the kids even had a little visit from nana and papa. Snacks were had, teeth were brushed and books were read and both boys were in bed in semi -lit rooms by 8:15. A switch was made at some point around 8:30 and the two were snuggled up together in Evan's bed. I could only stop a minute and stare at their precious faces as they slept so peacefully. My heart was happy just looking at them. They have that power over me to make my heart smile, no matter what kind of day I've had, but what a great day this was. Did you ever have one of those days?

Breaking Hearts

Valentine's Day is creeping up and my heart's all a flutter. Since having my boys, I am always thinking of ways to make V-day special for them, not just my hubby. In the past I 've taken them on "dates," given them stuffed animals or little dollar toys and almost always make them special goodies to eat, with red and pink icing or sprinkles of course.
So this year I kicked it off with signing up my oldest, Jake, and I for the "Sweetheart Dance" at his school. This is the dance where fathers and their daughters and moms and their sons get gussied up and purchase a corsage, get a photo taken and dance the night away to the stylings of a dj, taking breaks for refreshments, pizza and dessert. This is the dance I couldn't get into last year because I was too late signing up and Jake seemed a little bummed about it. Therefore this year I made it my priority to sign up with a check the very next day the flyer came home in the backpack.

I was talking about this event for weeks and I even made sure Jake had a brand new collared shirt while I picked out a pretty red shirt for the occasion. Now the morning of the event, I had a little hint that maybe Jake wasn't as excited as I, when he exclaimed, "Mom, please don't wear the red lipstick..it's embarrassing." Ouch, that didn't feel good, but I would certainly oblige.

That night Evan, my baby, was to have a boys night with his daddy. Meanwhile while I was getting ready, Jake came into my room not looking particularly thrilled. I, however, was on cloud nine. The whole idea of taking my little man to a dance made my heart happy and it was like we were pals for a moment. But that moment was fleeting. Once I walked into the kitchen and saw Evan with tear-filled eyes asking me not to leave, my heart was sad. I was probably a little more devastated than I am letting on, however that was just preparation for what was about to happen next... After I calmed Evan down a little and promised to hurry back, Jake and I walked out of the room and he said, "let's just get this over with." Someone may as well have shot me at that moment.

Let's just get this over with? Really Jake? So now I am realizing that I am breaking one child's heart only to go out on the town with the other one who doesn't even really want to go. My heart was doubly broken in a matter of two minutes. Of course my hubby John kept reiterating that Jake is only seven and he doesn't realize the meaning behind what he is saying... blah, blah, blah, blooey... yeah I get it but it still hurts. Jake realized his faux pas after a few moments and apologized. Again, it still hurts because I know his heart is not in it.

SO now I disappointingly escorted my reluctant sweetheart to the dance where we waited on a line. I promised him that we didn't have to stay long but something amazing happened when we got there. Jake spotted some friends and all is well in his world. Mine is still crushed. I tried to fake my hurt and I plastered a perma-smile on my face while taking pictures of him having a ball, getting on stage and dancing to "Greased Lightning" with his buds wishing he would want to dance to at least one song with me. Closing in on the two-hour long dance he finally does the conga line with me. Beggars can't be choosy. I am just thrilled he let me into his world and sat with me to eat pizza and cake. By the end I just wanted to get home to Evan whom I knew would be waiting.

When Jake and I arrived home, Evan was giggling and having a blast with his dad in the playroom and I was happy for them. I was also happy that whatever little pain I had caused him was long gone. Unfortunately my heart was still smarting. After all it was a double blow. Sure, Evan got passed it and I did with Jake to some extent... but what it meant still bothers me. It meant that Jake is growing up a bit and doesn't always want mom around. Mom is not his only girl anymore, nor does he need me for everything. He is becoming a little independent and I guess I should be a little excited for him. As for me if this is a sign of things to come, I think I will stock up on the chocolate and get the tissues handy cause my heart's gonna get broken a lot.

Copycats

Jake and Evan are doing this thing lately where they copy what everyone is saying. They do it to each other, to me, grandparents, even their daddy. When they do it to each other, it's cute for a moment but it gets annoying to me pretty quickly. I know that this is just another form of expression but I do try to quell it when I think it has gone on long enough. It usually loses its appeal with them after a few rounds anyway. However I realize there must be more to it because it appears in other forms. Maybe it's the curious side of children or just their ages but copying or mimicking seems to be running rampant... and it's not always annoying. In fact, I am seeing it is an interesting way to learn.
For example, I have Jake dusting his furniture in his room. It is a way for him to earn points and money when we go to Disney and it teaches him responsibility. I have him do it on the days that I clean so he can feel like he is pitching in too. Well my requests for him to clean aren't always welcome and that was the case this weekend. After some complaining, and me explaining why he needs to do it, he did it. Then along comes Evan with his own agenda why he shouldn't have to clean his room. I guess it wasn't my day. So before I could even start my sermon to him, the boy I call Jake who just a few minutes prior was pitching his own fit, turned into a grown man all of a sudden, spewing out to Evan all of the reasons I had just given him on why it must be done. Jake turned into me for a moment. And sometimes he turns into his daddy too. This happens often lately and it is quite comical. So maybe he does get it. I'm thinking the initial protests are just to wear me down.
I guess the funniest copycat move came today in Target. I am a little bit of a germ-o-phobe. I love hats but hesitate to try them on in stores because of lice and other gross things that I may not want on my head. So when I pick up a hat I swipe it with my hand, blow in it and shake it out. So I did that today after Evan and I saw the cutest hats in the boys section on clearance for $2 each. Of course I did my hat maneuver before letting Evan try his on. Then I turned to look at something else. When I turned back I saw Jake copying the same move before he tried on his hat.
Who says they aren't paying attention? Being a copycat can sometimes be a good thing! I just hope they copy the important stuff along the way.

Wellness Wednesday

Welcome to 2010! I have renewed energy for my fitness goals this year and I hope all you moms out there do too. I hope you made your lists. If you notice I wrote "fitness goals" and "lists" because in order to get somewhere you have to know where you are going and have a map or plan. Just like you wouldn't go grocery shopping without some sort of list... that would be a waste of time right? As busy moms, most of us would leave without half the stuff we needed. I am not being insulting, I am just stating an example of how we usually get things done on a daily basis... and that is with some planning or list. Integrate that concept with actually reaching a major goal - getting a degree, running a marathon. Needless to say major goals would be hard to achieve, even without children, if you didn't have a plan. The point is, so many people say they want to lose weight or get in shape but have no idea how to do it and no plan. For my almost 20 years in the fitness industry, it never fails that I see a big wave of newcomers in the gym every January and by March they are nowhere to be found. That's because they didn't have a plan or a trainer to keep them on track. They certainly had the desire but what happened? No plan.

The biggest pitfall is that if you do not work it into your busy schedule, it will slowly but surely disappear. There will always be an excuse not to exercise. It has to be a priority, like brushing your teeth... okay I hope it is a little more fun for you than that. If not, then you definitely have to check out your options to make it enjoyable. Remember, there is a social dimension ( see my entry on dimensions of exercise) which delineates the importance of families, friends and other outside influences. For example there are all kinds of group exercise activities at the gym or walking groups.Those walking /running groups are also great if you plan to get involved with a cause or charity event, like a 5k walk/run for example.

For me, my new passion to make my fitness goals more fun and attainable is working out with my kids with the Wii. I finally gave into a gaming system this holiday season, with the compromise that it had to be Wii Fit. Of course as a fitness instructor and personal trainer, I had my reasons, however now I find the kids are using it, loving it and want me to participate with them. I have even experienced soreness in my back muscles from the boxing. Of course there is no substitute for getting outside and taking our bike rides and runs together... but heck it's been cold here in sunny Florida! The Wii Fit was here just in time for the 40 degree weather, so I couldn't use that as my excuse not to work out.. and after seeing the fun my kids were having with me while being active...that was just fine with me.

A Hopeful New Year

I hope everyone reading this had a wonderful holiday season full of joy and good cheer. Reflecting back at the past year this has certainly been a year of revelations for me and my family. Persistence and hard work has proven to each of us that we can achieve our goals, no matter how big or small.

Every year I relish all the new experiences and the "firsts" that the boys have. They don't realize how special it is to watch them do or try something for the first time. I guess this is a privilege reserved only for a mother or father. Each new challenge is growth and it's always interesting to see how they handle it. This year Evan connected with his inner pirate and we have decided to give him a big boy room, like his brother, making that his theme. Jake has grown by leaps and bounds and seems to eat more eggs than I can keep up with. He has now grown big enough to ride his sporty new bike that we bought him for his 7th birthday. He finished playing soccer for a while and his first year of CCD. Evan started gymnastics and showed great dexterity and promise. I think he was amazed at what he could do. Both boys decided to start Tae Kwon Do and have been sticking with it so far. It is giving them focus and it's great exercise for them. They love to show off how high they can kick.. We did a thing I like to call "Mommy Camp" this summer. Money was tight so I made up my own camp for them and during one week I took off work and conducted a week-long program of non-stop fun and games. One of the games I taught them was UNO, a favorite of mine as a child. We kicked off this camp with a visit to a fishing Hall of fame, then headed to a zoo and two museums. Plenty of play dates at our pool were on hand as well. We were fortunate enough to spend two weekends of the summer away as a family, and that is always special time.

Jake headed into second grade while Evan started his second year of pre-K. Evan enjoyed a Power Ranger themed 4 year-old birthday party at our home. My hard work culminated in the end of a long journey this year. I finally published my book, A Wasted Life. It was released in November and the celebrations to share it with family and friends were so special to me. I thank everyone who supported me. I am grateful for all the lessons it taught me and I hope it shows the boys that if you want something and work hard at it, you can achieve it. The excitement led us right into the holidays as we visited Disney World with Nana and Papa. As I wrote previously, it is in Disney World where I received the first copy of my book. Gee I wonder if the kids are enjoying this "first" as much as I am.

Sitting with my boys on New Year's Eve, after a fun evening with friends at First Night, anticipating the ball to drop and the start of a new year, again I had a new or "first" experience... both of my boys were awake and rang in the new year with me. It was a happy moment for me. I saw the wonder in Evan's eyes about what was happening, even for just a moment. Wouldn't you know it but a moment after the event all he wanted was his pillow and some sleep, it was midnight after all.

A TRADITION- Last year I made an attempt at crafting a beautiful decorative box for my coffee table after watching Martha Stewart. Well it is okay looking ( I'm no Martha) but I wanted it to be a wish box. A box where we could write down our thoughts about the past year and write our hopes for the future year. Jake participated this year and this is what he wrote: 2009 I like to go places with my family. I am thankful for having shelter and food and water and a pool and a tv and a wii ( just received for X-mas). The End.

I wrote: 2009 -I am most happy for my wonderful family and that we all enjoyed good health and great times in 2009. We continue to grow strong in love and trust as a family unit. The joy they bring me is priceless. 2010- In 2010 I hope our family will continue to flourish. I pray for peace in the world, good health and that Jake and Evan continue being the good boys that we try to raise them to be.I hope this will be a year of lots of love, laughter and good times. John, Jake and Evan, I love you very much - you are my everything... Love Mom